What’s the first thing you have control over in the day? Whatever that is, that’s where your day begins.
When I work with members on designing habits, I tend to focus on the mornings because… Well, mornings are easier. They are the most predictable parts of our day – and the least subject to chaos. So, your earliest thoughts and actions are the first opportunity you have to live intentionally.
Performance psychologist Michael Gervais teaches a four-step process that can be used right after waking up (or any old time):
- Take one slow breath. Several, if you like.
- Think about one thing you’re grateful for
- Set an intention for the day
- Feel your body as it presses into your bed (or your feet on the floor if you’re standing).
You may want to modify this to fit your own brain more closely. Go for it!
I have found that there is an element of skill development in these types of practices because… Well, sometimes brains are going to brain, which means doubt, pessimism, and general messiness can show up to the party. So, in those moments, I reset, rinse, and repeat until I’m calm and focussed again. Some days, it’s easy; some days, it’s… more involved. I’m ok with that.
I’m going to tell you something that you probably already know: that you don’t have to stamp your identity onto every single goofy-ass thought that rolls across your cranium. Brains are wild and jenky things. They hold onto faulty information, biases, and years of bullshit cascading in from multiple sources. These are things but they don’t have to be your things – even if they pop up inside your own mental jack-in-the-box. Of course, brains do more than that. They create beauty, and insight, and translate your deepest values into meaningful language. So, the art isn’t to control your thoughts; it’s to respond to the ones that reflect who you want to be. The actions you take are what make you.
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